for each man kills the thing he loves,
by alice hattercandy
Summary: Post-war. Everyday, Ichigo tells Orihime how much he loves her.


_Yet each man does not die._

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He will never forget how beautiful she was. Even with blood pouring from her delicate neck, long hair soaked in red, vacant honey-colored eyes and cold plump lips, she is still lovely.

"Inoue, Inoue…"

He runs a hand through her thick hair. He hugs her head tighter; the blood is thick and sticky. Blood continues to pour, drowning him and his sanity.

"Wake up." He whispers, "_Please._"

He kisses her purple lips.

Orihime does not respond.

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"I think you should stop this." Ishida says one day.

Why? He wants to ask. What is there to stop? He comforts himself with visions of her auburn hair and honey eyes, pretty and gentle, that lovely face and lovelier smile.

Now, he feels less lonely. He smiles a little.

"This is not healthy."

The voice fades in the background.

Outside, the sky is clear blue.

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"Ichigo," It is Sado. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"But…"

"I'm _fine._ Stop asking. You'll worry Inoue."

Sado's expression is solemn, but he does not speak.

"She…" A look flits over Ichigo's face. His mask is breaking but in a second the cracks disappear. "She'll worry. I don't want her to worry about me." He adds, stroking Orihime's hair.

Sado, he's a big man, a strong man, a tall man. But at the mention of _that_ name, seeing Ichigo look at _her _like _that, _he seems to shrink. He seems to crumble. But no, he has to be strong. For Ichigo, for others.

Like many times before, Sado fades away in the background while Ichigo wastes away in _his _reality.

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"Stop this, Ichigo." This time, it's Rukia. She does not hit him; she knows it will not work. Gone are the days when she can hit him and everything will be alright – _he _will be alright. From a corner, Renji watches quietly, uncomfortable. This scene makes him weak. Watching Ichigo makes him sick.

How the mighty have fallen.

"…Let her go."

Her voice cracks, but her back remains straight.

"You _have _to let her go."

Ichigo looks at her and Rukia feels sicker. Renji guides her out of the room. As soon as she steps out, Rukia throws up.

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He wakes up at the feel of her pale red hair slipping through the gap of his fingers. He hears her voice _Kurosaki-kun, Kurosaki-kun… _He sees her smiling eyes.

He looks at his right.

"Why do you look so sad…?" Glassy and dull caramel-colored eyes reflect his brown eyes.

Almost with painful fondness, he smiles to himself and caresses her hair. This action provides him comfort. Fake or real, it does not matter. She is here and he is less lonely.

He closes his eyes and falls asleep. His dreams, they are filled with blood, mirrors and her weeping reflection. But he continues to sleep.

A tear falls from her wide, right eye.

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The room smells, a pungent scent of death. It makes Yuzu sick. She runs outside, hurls her breakfast and loses appetite to eat lunch. Karin reprimands her _don't go in there! How many times do I have to tell you?_

Yuzu only cries harder as a response.

Isshin watches from the background. It is like watching a lovely canvas, only the palette and colors are bitterness, misery, madness and pain. The child inside himself thinks it is a lovely portrait of a family breaking apart.

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"You _really_ have to stop doing this."

Rukia tries again. But Ichigo shrugs her off and continues to caress Orihime's hair.

"You have to let her go."

His long fingers touch Orihime's lips. They are cold and unmoving, but it does not matter, although sometimes, he misses her voice.

"Ichigo…" He looks at her; their eyes lock. Her tears thicken, making her eyes brighter.

"Don't look at me like that, Ichigo…" Rukia says, "You have to let _her_ go."

Ichigo frowns thoughtfully, nodding. Rukia's eyes widen. Is he…

He wipes a streak of red over Orihime's lips.

"I think red suits her."

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Karin watches her brother lay on his bed, eyes open, staring up to the ceiling. He does not wear an expression. For Karin, her brother is already dead. For Karin, that is not _her _brother anymore.

Thus, she pretends he's already dead.

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Sado, Ishida and Renji think it's time to use force. This has been… They shake their heads, breathe deeply and get inside Ichigo's room.

They find him caressing pale red hair. The blood has dried, the skin is crumpling. But honey eyes remain open and staring. Renji suppresses a shiver; Sado does not flinch; Ishida is paler than usual.

"Ichigo," Sado's voice is deep. Ichigo does not look up. Renji waits. "Let her go."

"No."

"Ichigo…"

"No." He groans, suddenly breathless. His chest aches. Orange locks fall over his bright eyes. "No, no, _no…_What are you doing? What are you doing? Don't." His fist curls and trembles. "_Don't._"

Rukia enters. The scene is like this: Sado is restraining Ichigo, Renji is watching Ichigo struggle, Ishida is looking away from the bed. Ichigo starts to tremble, his fingers curling in claws as he starts to twist, hands reaching to his bed.

"Inoue, Inoue, Inoue…"

"Why do you torture yourself?" Rukia whispers. "You have to let _her_ go…"

Ichigo continues to struggle against Sado's grip.

Rukia continues in a broken voice and a tear falls over her delicate cheek.

"She's dead."

Ichigo stills.

"Inoue is dead."

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Everything becomes black and white.

Something inside him snaps. And it crumbles. Like a building, his sanity falls into pieces. Zangetsu – or that white thing inside him – tries to grasp the pieces, catch the debris but…

Everything seems to fade, including _her_. Where's my reality, he demands. Bring it back, bring it back, bring

_her back._

Smiling lips flash inside his mind. They open, speaking but no words are coming out. Then there are tear tracks. He sees small hands, periwinkle hairclips, and her retreating back.

Bring it back, bring it back, bring

_her back_

It is suffocating. He cannot breathe. His head, it aches. There is a ringing in his ears. At first, it is quiet, and then the sound increases, the distinctness increases. It is low, dull, and quick, a sound similar to a clock inside a large room.

With the quick staccato sounds, he hears her voice _I love you, I love you_. The words echo inside his head, so loud, vehemently so.

Louder, louder, louder.

The images – in black and white – play before his eyes. He tries to block the sounds. He tries to block the images. _Kurosaki-kun Kurosaki-kun Kurosaki-kun _the echo goes. The sound echoes, _oh god, oh god. _He opens his mouth to scream – _it hurts, it hurts, stop –_

The dull sound, it is the sound of her heart.

He sees a ghost of his hand extend to reach for her _Inoue! Stop—_

_Shoot to kill._

The silver blade, it comes out of nowhere.

_Shinsho._

His vision becomes red. Bloody, bloody, liquid… red…

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And Ichigo screams.

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Isshin sends Karin and Yuzu to Urahara Shoten that night. Yuzu has been crying. Karin is shaking.

"Daddy…" Yuzu sobs.

"It's going to be alright." Instead of telling that to his daughter, Isshin comforts himself with those words. Karin looks at him. Isshin hugs his daughters before pushing them out of the door.

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It is morning.

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No one understands.

He breathes deeply. The walls are streaked with blood. The smell is overwhelming. But Ichigo lays there on his bloody bed, comfortable and at peace. He turns his face to the side.

Orihime's face greets him. She is safe now, no one will harm her. He sits up and watches her. Last night, they tried to take her away from _him._ They're his friends but why? Why do they want to tear him and Orihime apart?

No _one _understands.

He extends a hand to touch her. His bloody fingers run delicately through her hair. Red really suits her, Ichigo thinks. He smears more blood over her hair.

But Orihime does. She understands. That is why she stays with him.

He eyes her face.

_She looks too pale._

Thus, he rubs blood over her cheeks. Ah, now she is blushing prettily. But her lips are _purple_, almost black. He reaches over his pillow which is saturated in blood. He rubs his palm over the pillow; blood soaks his hand. He daubs blood over her lips.

Ichigo looks at his handiwork with a clinical eye. Beautiful. But he has to do something with the bruises on her neck. He blinks, his gaze dropping to the space below her neck. His eyes bulge. He grips her hair tightly in his fists.

There is something missing.

_Where is it?_

He looks around for it frantically. He could not find it in the mess of blood and multiple carcasses that filled his room. _Where is it?_ His mind screams. Standing up, he looks around the room, carrying Orihime, his feet stepping on the puddles of blood.

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"Where is he?"

Isshin shrugs. "When I went up to his room this morning, he was gone. I think he jumped out of his room." He pauses. "He, he is looking for Orihime-chan's body." He adds quietly, distantly.

Urahara feels a chill run down his spine. "But Inoue-san's body is…"

"Yes." Isshin rubs the area between his eyes. "He didn't notice it at first. He was too occupied with her head and face. He didn't know that Orihime-chan…" Urahara feels it is difficult to breathe. "This morning, he _noticed_. So, he looked for it."

Kuchiki Byakuya looks grave, his face lined with concealed anguish. His wife's little sister… He presses his molars together.

"He is dangerous. We will use force if necessary." Unohana says.

Urahara looks at Isshin. There is a swallow.

"Do whatever you want."

Isshin leaves the room.

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"Inoue?" his voice is hoarse from screaming. For three days, he is looking for _it_.

_(have you seen her?_

_Have you?_

_She wears a white dress.) _

But he is unsuccessful. He put Orihime down on the grass and studies her. She is pale again. He becomes frantic.

Five blurs appear and become solid: four individuals in white haori and one in green and white bucket hat.

"Kurosaki Ichigo," one of them says. The orange haired boy looks up. He picks up Orihime from the ground and prepared to flee. They… They are going to take her away from him!

"Pathetic," snorts Kenpachi. Byakuya looks passive, Unohana is blank-faced, Kyoraku's expression is shadowed by his hat. Urahara's face is neutral, but a line of distress crosses his eyes upon seeing the object Kurosaki Ichigo possessively grips in his arms.

"Do not resist." It is Kyoraku who speaks and the first one to step forward. He draws his sword, flash steps and reappears behind Ichigo, sword raised.

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He wakes up five days later, screaming her name. Orihime is nowhere to be seen. He pounds on the walls, asking to see Orihime. No one listens.

No one understands.

He weeps for days. He misses her so much. He wants to see her. He can't take it, he has to see her. He has to…

The fourth day, his spiritual pressure rises, a dangerous threat. Soul Society trembles. He _needs _to see her, hear her, touch her and—

"Kurosaki-kun."

He lifts his head, his irises flare in wonder and happiness. The pressure lowers. He reaches for her hand.

"Inoue… You're here. I've been waiting for you! Where have you been?"

"I miss you," she says in her flat voice.

"It does not matter. You're _here._" He tries to smile at her.

Orihime does not respond.

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Four days prior, the Gotei 13 captains gather around a funeral pyre.

They watch as the fire engulf Inoue Orihime's decapitated head.

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Everyday, Ichigo tells Orihime how much he loves her.

Orihime only smiles. She listens patiently, but Ichigo does not – refuses to – acknowledge the tears that constantly stream down her face.

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**note.** BLEACH belongs to KT/WSJ ; title is a poem by O. Wilde.


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